It's been a year already - I can't believe it! If someone told me last year this time that he wont be here i wouldn't have believed them. Last year this time we we're out together drinking & chatting & making jokes! The first time I saw him since he came back here in February. Who knew that that would be the last time I saw him as well!

You never realize how easily someone close to you can be taken away until it happens to you! I still miss him so much! Does this ever get better?

Why can't you change the things you said? The last thing I asked him was 'why is he being such an asshole?'

Why can't I changed what I said.
Would anything have been any different if I didn't say that?

I still don't know why & I think that is a question that is never going to be answered!

Everything happens for a reason & my sister said that maybe I can't see the reason because it was not meant for me - if that is true why does it hurt so much?

I just wish he was still here with us. That is was all just a really bad dream!

But he is not here with us in person & he will never be again but he will alway be in our hearts!

Update

Back in Reading - Swallowfield to be exact! Forgot how cold & quiet but beautiful it is here - if it's not cloudy @ night you can see so many start - loads & loads more than in London. I'm going to miss London so much but it's easier over here to do the things that i want to do. It's getting so cold here now - can't believe it's summer back home & can't believe that I've been here a year already! It's gone by so quickly!

Still got the flu. Almost two weeks now. Not so much fun!!! Hope I get over it pretty soon cause I'm sick of being sick.

Anyway - just a quick update of how things are here by me in the land of far far away!